A reminder for me and for you: What's meant to be yours in this life, will find a way in. Be open. Be curious. Be receptive. And trust that, in some inexplicable way, things inevitably work out just how they're meant to — and the things that aren't, you'll realize today or on some idle Tuesday five years from now, they never actually bore your name. And thank goodness they didn't. Embracing possibilities, especially those we can't picture yet, is frightening. But like any good story, you're not meant to know the ending every step of the way. So stop trying to skip chapters, stop trying to rewrite what isn't meant for you.
A heartfelt and honest essay from Onyi about a past abusive relationship and her journey toward healing, self-discovery and, above all, self-love. I will add a trigger warning for upsetting and violent scenarios.
"Two decades of fighting in Afghanistan have brought a handful of themes to the fore for Americans. Chief among them: the progress Afghan women and girls made in society after years of Taliban rule banned them from public life."
Earlier this week, I received a comment from a reader who shared she had been feeling trapped lately — listless and perhaps a bit stuck — a feeling I think we can all certainly relate to (I know I can!). She went on to say that she had read my essay from last summer about how and why we should romanticize our own lives and that it helped her shift her perspective. That said, I’m not sure who else needs to hear it today but it bears repeating from time to time, especially with the pace of the world picking back up again: don’t forget to fall in love with your life. Over and over again, as often as you can. Marvel in your own company. Dwell in your own thoughts. And chase what sets your soul ablaze.
Naturally, I'd love to know...how do you romanticize your life?
I really enjoyed this opinion piece about Biles and the unimaginable weight that is currently on her shoulders. This excerpt sums it up nicely:
"Whenever Biles pulls on her leotard, it’s as though she’s tightening a cape around her neck. She’s the hero tasked with saving a sullied sport, embodying some trite belief in American dominance — and also carrying a gender and an entire race.
That’s a heavy cape, and it chokes. But it’s one that exceptional Black women, and women of color, are told to wear. Because simply being great isn’t good enough.
They have to be superlative, as well as trailblazers. They have to be avatars of progress and change, and also fulfill a deeper societal responsibility as role models who break glass ceilings while breaking records."
Romanian gymnast Nadia Comăneci made history at the 1976 Olympics by earning the first-ever perfect score of “10” for her performance in the uneven bars competition. As soon as it happened, Nadia’s achievement inspired a generation of young athletes around the world—and the entire culture of New York ball.
We watched this Saturday night and my mind is still reeling from it. Beautifully shot, wonderfully dark fantasy and mind-bending storytelling and of course, there's Dev Patel who instantly commands the screen. The Green Knight is a character from the 14th-century Arthurian poem Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, whose major role in Arthurian literature includes being a judge and tester of knights, and as such the other characters consider him as friendly but terrifying and somewhat mysterious.
TW: This video discusses a recent miscarriage due to COVID. Admittedly, I couldn't get through this video without crying. A beautifully honest and heartfelt video from my dear friend Sai, as she opens up about her recent loss, a topic that I certainly hope we can soon normalize and process together without shame or stigma.
How do you make your life feel like art? Do you seek out those sunsets? Do you greet the sunrises? Do you take the long way home? Do you say yes to late-night conversations with dear friends? Do you let yourself make mistakes? Do you let yourself learn from those mistakes without shame? Do you notice people? Like truly notice them and all the nuances that make them beautifully unique and flawed at the same time? Do you ask questions? Do you listen to the answers? Do you give yourself time to reflect? Do you let your imagination play? Do you revel in small details? Do you revel in the small details of others? Does music become a character in your life — a song for each season, each feeling — a language all its own? Do you enjoy the ride? Do you move as often as you can — across oceans, or perhaps across rivers — to walk in someone else's shoes, to see the world through their eyes? Do you tip-toe along the edge of the unknown and dive into it, still? Do you practice your craft, no matter what it may be, for the joy it gives your hands and your heart? Do you enjoy being a student, always in search of answers? Do you love others fiercely? Do you fall in love with yourself often? Do you seek out the beautiful but also not run away from the difficult or the painful? Do you reject perfection and instead, embrace the wild, the unexpected, the messy, not because they're a challenge or you need to prove something but because they remind you what it means to feel and be alive — to be both IN the world and OF the world?
How do you make your life feel like art? Truth be told, I'm still trying to answer this myself. And sometimes, it creates more questions than answers. But I like to think I'm learning...
Written by Tori Franklin, a record holder in the Women's Triple Jump. I loved this excerpt:
"The Olympics is about recognizing our similarities. It’s about people from all corners of the world coming together to compete, to fuel each other in the pursuit of shared goals. In a world that often lacks empathy, where those who are different are labeled as “other”, it’s a reminder to see each other as people, to share stories about loss, and love, and triumph."
Protect your curiosity. It's a precious resource, one that I think we far too often dismiss or hide away the older we get. We want those around us to think we're experts, when really, the most fascinating people I've met, usually admit quite freely when they don't know enough about something and they'd like to know more. Personally, I love people who ask questions. Lots of questions. Because that's usually me. I'm endlessly curious about why something is the way it is, who designed that, how an idea came to be. And isn't that the squeeze of life? Another day getting a few more answers than what you had the day before. They say if you want to be an interesting person, be interested. So yes, protect your curiosity. Fiercely
“The world will never starve for want of wonders; but only for want of wonder.” — G.K. Chesterton
I related to this article a lot — especially the idea that for many women, their 30s feel like this impossible pressure cooker in the best of times. Throw in a global pandemic and well, it's suffocating.
Ducournau becomes only the second female film-maker to win the Palme D’Or, following Jane Campion who tied for the award in 1993 with The Piano.
EIGHT // 3 things making me smile
Speaking of Cannes, here's an anatomy of a standing ovation at Cannes — an inside look at the 9 straight minute standing ovation for Wes Anderson's French Dispatch film. It's the Bill Murray and Tilda Swinton parts for me!
Here we are — the thick of summer upon us. Where the days feel limitless, the evenings are alive and the lulls of afternoon heat make you close your eyes and dream for a moment. My dear friend Léanne Ansar and I have been dreaming up and painting this particular photo together for quite some time now and it truly feels like summer in a bottle to me. The wild promise of how July makes you feel — a cool wind in your hair, the beckoning of the setting sun splashing your face and the realization you don't have to go home just yet. So you stay and read another chapter as a nearby saxophone player fills the heavy air with notes of Fitzgerald, Armstrong, Coltrane, Davis...and you dream.
On that note, I hope you enjoy this week's roundup and have a wonderful weekend ahead!
Loved this heartfelt essay from Naomi on mental health and playing on her own terms. Here's an excerpt to set the tone:
"Lesson one: you can never please everyone. The world is as divided now as I can remember in my short 23 years. Issues that are so obvious to me at face value, like wearing a mask in a pandemic or kneeling to show support for anti-racism, are ferociously contested. I mean, wow. So, when I said I needed to miss French Open press conferences to take care of myself mentally, I should have been prepared for what unfolded."
You can read her full statement on the decision here, but this article above sums up it succinctly. This excerpt is extremely telling:
“I cannot imagine working at and advancing a school named for a man who lobbied against me, who used his wealth to influence the hires and ideology of the journalism school, who ignored my 20 years of journalism experience, all of my credentials, all of my work, because he believed that a project that centered Black Americans equaled the denigration of white Americans. Nor can I work at an institution whose leadership permitted this conduct and has done nothing to disavow it,” Hannah-Jones said in her statement.
Personally, when I watched the premiere last week, I couldn't shake the question: "Tavi is playing a teacher?" Style Rookie Tavi?! But it's only one part in a long line of casting that rarely reflects realistic age ranges.
The way to my heart? That's easy — through a lead foot. (And if you want to know how I went about renting this beautiful 1957 Porsche 356 Speedster convertible out in Marblehead, MA, then you're in luck! Keep reading down below!)
On that note, I hope you all have a wonderful long weekend ahead! Enjoy some sunshine and, if you can help it, the wind in your hair!
This week has a been a tough one for the carrying out of justice — first with Bill Cosby's release on a prosecution technicality and the denial of Britney Spears' request for her conservatorship with her father at the helm to end. We won't talk about the former today, but the latter, this article does a great job showing possible next steps in her journey.
I mentioned this on Stories the other day — but it's still vastly important right now. Every two seconds, someone in America needs blood. And we're currently facing a severe blood shortage. If you can and are able to, I'd encourage you to donate blood soon.
A great starting point on where to donate and send supplies to, to help with the ongoing rescue mission at the collapsed Surfside building in FL.
EIGHT // 3 things making me smile
Want to know where I've been finding beautiful cars to shoot with lately? I recently started renting via three different sites: Turo, DriveShare and Vinty (although I had issues with the Vinty customer support team, so fair warning). This particular Porsche in these photos I found through Vinty, but the owner has a small collection of other cars he rents out directly (you can see his fleet here). All three rental services have a national presence, but there's a higher concentration in and around bigger coastal cities. If you're planning a wedding soon and looking for a post-ceremony getaway car, look no further!
Karen just published another installment of "What Everyone is Wearing in New York" — and it's a beautiful testament to the lifting of spirits we're all seeing right now in the city. Highly recommend giving it a watch.
Wow, for such a short week, it nearly did me in! Anyone else feel that way? I suppose this is where we insert all sorts of Mercury in Retrograde jokes, right? Thankfully, the one thing grounding me at the moment is a renewed commitment to moving my body lately, ideally for a 3 mile run each day. Without fail, no matter what mood I'm in before, I always feel considerably more accomplished for having gone out and completed it. Even if I have to drag myself there.
Do you have a daily habit/ritual/tradition that keeps you centered? I'd love to hear it!
And on that note, I hope you enjoy this week's internet cocktail of culture, news and general headlines that have caught my eye. Moreover, I hope your weekend is restful and that Mercury doesn't get the best of you.
"I cannot give up this platform to promote complacency and peace, when there is a war on my body and a war on my rights," Smith said in her speech at the graduation ceremony for Lake Highlands High School in Dallas.
"When Naomi Osaka dropped out of the French Open on Monday, after declining to attend media interviews that she said could trigger her anxiety, she wasn’t just protecting her mental health. She was sending a message to the establishment of one of the world’s most elite sports: I will not be controlled.
We just started watching this series on Apple TV+ last night and I'm really impressed with the ground it covers — highly recommend putting it on your watch list, especially with Mental Health Awareness Month having just passed.
With zero reparations in sight. This excerpt is particularly poignant:
"Yet no one offered any sort of reparations to the survivors: the before-mentioned Lessie Benningfield Randle, 106; Viola Fletcher, 107; and Hughes Van Ellis Sr., 100. Even when overtures were made by the survivors to meet with commission organizers, they were met with silence. Instead, the commission controlled the narrative—fundraising and publicizing the centennial as a tourist attraction and resulting in what some are calling a “Disneyland experience of the massacre.”'
True to form, we've decided to stay put here in New York for Memorial Day weekend, because if you must know, long weekends are absolutely magical here in the city. Like a playground meant just for you. Looking forward to snagging tables at a few of our favorite restaurants in the village, planning far too many picnics and renting a car for a late Monday afternoon drive. What are you planning for the long weekend ahead? Staying local or heading out of town?
With that said, I'm looking forward to signing off this weekend. Less screen time, more nap time in the sun, please! Hope you have a beautiful long weekend, my friends!
An important read this week, as we've passed the one year anniversary of the murder of George Floyd. I found this excerpt to be particularly poignant:
"There is an intimate yet still unexplored relationship between mourning and democracy. We tend to see mourning as a temporary disruption of “normal” life — a cycle of pain, denial and eventual acceptance. This picture is both right and wrong. Mourning is a movement toward wholeness by way of acknowledging brokenness. But it is less a terminable process than a way of being in the world."
The long-awaited reunion special is an uneasy continuation of the sitcom’s easy fantasies. This excerpt also summed up our thoughts on how Gen Z views Friends today:
"A reason Friends has become so popular with people who were not yet born when it premiered, critics have surmised, is that the show revels in the constraints of physical immediacy. Friends’ world is hermetic. Its characters interact not over the cool distance of the digital—text, TikTok—but rather in person. They live next door to one another, across the street from one another, down the block from one another. Their lives are shaped by the fatalism of actual proximity."
Congrats to my friend Katie Sturino on the release of her new book, Body Talk! Here's a brief synopsis: "With Body Talk, an illustrated guide-meets-workbook, Sturino is here to help you stop obsessing about your body issues, focus on self-love, and free up space in your brain for creative and productive energy. Complete with empowering affirmations, relatable anecdotes, and actionable takeaways, as well as space to answer prompts and jot down feelings and inspirations, Body Talk encourages you to spend less time thinking about how you look and what you eat and more time discovering your inner fierceness."
The most memorable scents are transportive, aren't they? To a time and a place in our minds. A one-way train ticket to a feeling, just out of reach. Which is why, when it comes to Clive Christian's suite of fragrances, I'm never disappointed by the places I'm whisked away to and their latest addition — Matsukita — is no exception. With top notes of green bergamot, fused with pink pepper, spicy nutmeg and hints of jasmine and mate tea, I can just imagine the feeling of an open train window, fresh air from rolling fields of wild flowers kissing my face as an afternoon tea service passes in the hallway. The promise of adventure beckoning my name as the conductor calls my stop, the late spring sun warming my skin. Mysterious and complex, it's exactly how I like to feel at the start of a big trip — like anything can and will happen.
Anti-abortion-rights activists have turned their arguments away from protecting democracy and toward maximizing protection for fetal life. Here's an excerpt that I found particularly chilling:
"The abortion debate has never been about just Roe—and it’s never been about letting a popular majority have a say. What’s new is that this argument now meets a receptive Supreme Court for the first time in more than a generation."
In the words of Viola Fletcher, who was just 7 years old when the massacre happened:
"I will never forget the violence of the white mob when we left our home. I still see Black men being shot, Black bodies lying in the street. I still smell smoke and see fire. I still see Black businesses being burned. I still hear airplanes flying overhead. I hear the screams," Fletcher told lawmakers. "I have lived through the massacre every day. Our country may forget this history, but I cannot."
New York City has had 108 mayors. Not a single one of them has been a woman—but that could change in 2021 as three female candidates emerge as strong, competitive contenders in the June 22 Democratic primary.
As I mentioned on Stories last week, the recent flare up in the Israeli-Palestinian conflict is a subject that I admittedly know very little about and have been doing my best to educate myself from a variety of sources on both sides. I found this chronology from the Washington Post to be extremely helpful — but I recognize it's nearly impossible for the nuances of such a complex, heated situation to be summed up succinctly in just one article. My heart breaks over the violence, death toll on both sides and the rise of anti-Semitism and anti-Palestinian hate crimes spurred from this. Praying for peace for both sides, now that a ceasefire has hopefully been reached.
Happy Friday, everyone! I don't know about you, but this week has completely taken it out of me. And I'm afraid I have more deadlines to tackle this weekend. Granted, I'm not upset by the prospect of having more work come in (quite the opposite actually, especially after how 2020 rocked things!) but it's been testing my time management lately. This weekend, I hope to escape for an afternoon (perhaps tomorrow) to sit in the sunshine and read in the park. Yes, I could certainly use some Vitamin D, ASAP.
Whatever you have planned this weekend, I hope it brings you some calm!
And for all my mothers, mothers-to-be, mother figures, rich aunties, mothers of fur babies, grieving mothers, women who chose not to pursue motherhood and women who can't pursue motherhood, I see you, I love you and I'm sending you lots of love this Mother's Day. Especially my own mother. I love you, dearly.
A photographer in Berlin is capturing the lives of the consciously child-free.I know this article has been making the rounds lately but I think it's a really timely read. Here's an excerpt that stood out to me:
"What’s selfish is having children that you don’t want or can’t properly care for,” she said. “There’s such a taboo in saying, ‘The reason I don’t have kids is because I don’t want them.’” She argues that it’s more socially acceptable to quip that a fancy boat or expensive holidays are your child. “And those jokes perpetuate the selfish misperception.”
Perhaps part of this social unacceptability is that with an admission to never having children comes an underlying acknowledgment that women have sex for pleasure. When many are still threatened by women’s sexual agency, some experts have argued that having sex for fun, rather than reproduction, is an affront to the long political and religious history of policingfemale sexuality and reproductive rights."
A May Day rally in Istanbul, a SpaceX splashdown in Florida, an early cicada in Maryland, camels in a Chinese desert, a diving competition in Tokyo, orienteering in Ukraine, an oil fire in Iraq, and much more.
I'm sure it surprises no one when I say that an event that calls for a dramatic hat has my name all over it. So with the Kentucky Derby now almost upon us — tomorrow in fact — I'm currently planning a little springtime picnic in Central Park to toast to the races! In case you're in the market for a whiskey springtime cocktail yourself, I'm sharing the most delicious recipe for a Woodford Spire — perfect for all this sunshine we're finally basking in, in New York. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to start placing a few bets.
1.5 parts of Woodford Reserve Kentucky Bourbon Whiskey
I know many of us largely feel like there's "light at the end of the tunnel" with the vaccine rolling out steadily here in the United States. But the situation is only worsening in other places in the world, like India. Journalist Riddhi Dastidar put together this fabulous resource doc of all the charities and organizations that need our help right now in getting the COVID crisis under control in India. I know financial donations aren't feasible for everyone right now, but every little bit counts.
The internet has decided that Pfizer is significantly cooler than Moderna—but why? (I have a sneaky suspicion, for years to come, we will identify with the vaccine we were given in a strange pseudo-status thing.)
The other day, after I finished shooting in Central Park, instead of opting to pack up my things right away and head back home to edit, I decided I'd rather sit under a big cherry blossom tree and rest. Admittedly, it's not something I allow myself to do very often, especially when I'm working on a deadline, like I was that day. But something inside me tugged me to do it. So I cozied up at the base of a wide, fluffy blossom tree and I actually closed my eyes for a good few minutes, listening to the sound of bicyclists breeze past, children laughing near Bethesda Fountain and the faint humming of someone's portable stereo in the distance. It's an amazing thing — to just rest in nature, isn't it? Your body absorbs so much just by being in it. When I opened my eyes, the breeze had kissed off many of the cherry blossom petals, which were now falling all around me like a delicate April snow fall. And I felt the warm urge to sit longer because New York in the spring is just too pretty to ignore.
I know the world feels unbearably heavy right now — my heart has been weighing a lot lately with the news cycle these days, as I'm sure is the case for a lot of you, as well. I hope you can find some rest and solace this weekend with whatever you're passionate about. Close friends in your quarantine pod, a good book, a long walk, something creative that gets you out of your own head or even a nap under a big, favorite tree. Sending you all a big hug and all my love.
All payment handles noted in the post above have been coordinated directly with Chyna for her and Daunte Jr. only. These needs and cash tags have been confirmed and told by Chyna herself and any other information on HER behalf should be questioned. Nicolette has also compiled a list of action items here on ways we can help the Minneapolis and Brooklyn Center communities.
A very kind reader left me a comment saying that my posts allow them to "experience New York in such a way that is both exciting and invigorating — as if it's this new, unexplored, uncharted land." And that really struck me as perhaps the highest compliment I've ever received. You see, no matter where you live in the world and no matter how familiar it may feel, if I can in some small way encourage you all to seek with fresh eyes, to marvel with renewed wonder, to explore with unbridled curiosity, well then, I'll feel like my online "influence" (whatever that means) will have been put to good use. Of course, this isn't to say every moment of every day will feel like uncharted territory, far from it I'm sure, but when it does strike, when it does tap you on the shoulder to beckon you to follow, you'll never regret running after it. I promise.
Of course, this got me thinking — I'd love to hear the best compliment anyone has ever given you? Was it something a stranger said while you were walking down the sidewalk? Or perhaps a really heartfelt thought from a friend or family member? More importantly, how did it make you feel? I'd love to hear, especially since I think we're all inclined to not talk about compliments out of fear of sounding vain — when really, I think that only makes us deflect them in the end. Or worse yet, we stop ourselves before giving them to other people.
And I, for one, will hopefully be one of them! I loved this excerpt:
"Americans are good at lots of different things, but going on vacation is not one of them. Every year in parts of Europe, summer turns into a mini-sabbatical. In Norway, during the tradition of fellesferie, the nation simply shuts down for a few weeks of July fun. In Italy, so many people take the last two weeks of August off that Rome’s transit system runs on a reduced “festivi” schedule. Meanwhile, guess which industrialized country is the only one that doesn’t guarantee time off to its workers? Guess which country left 768 million vacation days on the table in 2018? Guess which country … arghhhhhhhh."
Do you have any kindred spirits in your life? People who, in some inexplicable way, resonate at the same frequency as you, the same energy — I like to think of them as a phrase in the same paragraph as me, perhaps even the same sentence. Usually they share common interests, values and world views — and sometimes, if you're lucky, there's an unshakable feeling of déjà vu when you meet them, a fleeting memory from a past life of yours and theirs.
Of course, kindred spirits by design don't come around often (that's what makes them so special!) and if you happen to throw a global pandemic into the mix, the odds of meeting them certainly don't roll out in your favor either. But! Oh the operative but! When they do come around — it's magical! And Léanne is most certainly one of those friends for me — I could tell the moment we started walking around the Frick together, making up fanciful narratives for all the paintings and statues we passed.
You see, Léanne is a fellow old soul. One who loves history, art, cinema, storytelling and any and every excuse to dress up like she’s in a period drama just as much as I do — all of which I say to remind whoever may need to hear it today, that making new friends is certainly never easy. As someone with introverted tendencies, I know that. Moreover, it can be downright daunting the older we get and the more set in our ways we become. But (there's that operative but again!), every once in a while, the universe gives us little nudges that I've come to learn we shouldn't ignore, because they usually lead us somewhere amazing. In case there's a person you've been meaning to reach out to lately, to strike up or perhaps even rekindle a friendship with (safely mind you, given that social gatherings look vastly different these days), I hope this caption is the nudge you needed from the universe to do so.
After watching that horrific video of a 65 year-old woman being beaten in broad daylight here in NYC earlier this week, I'm beyond disheartened. I found this article to be very insightful with six Asian American women who are leaders in their fields sharing the solutions they believe will help stop Asian hate.
Have you been watching the trial this week? Even if you're not, I think this op-ed piece is terribly poignant to read — a reminder of the stakes, so to speak. Here's an excerpt that punched me in the stomach when I read it:
"As we settle into this trial, Black America is forced to watch — and rewatch — the slow-motion murder of yet another innocent Black person as the prosecution works to show just how depraved Chauvin’s actions were on May 25, 2020. It’s beyond challenging and painful to relive this day as an onlooker with no personal connection to Floyd, but an intimate understanding, nonetheless. Floyd begged for his life 27 times. Twenty-seven times. He begged until he had no breath left with which to speak, and even still, as his body lay drained of its life, Chauvin’s knee remained. I can think of no better metaphor for what it is like to live and die while Black in America — under the weight of White supremacy — than this one."
After a lot of online hunting and finger crossing, I was able to land a COVID vaccination appointment slot for Monday. While each state and city is run quite differently, I would recommend all my New Yorkers to check the CVS website between midnight and 1am to refresh for any new appointment slots that might pop up. Don't give up, just keep refreshing! It's also worthwhile checking these sites often, usually on the hour and every quarter hour interval, i.e. 1:00, 1:15, 1:30, 1:45.
What will life look like after all this? I don't know about you, but this question has been on my mind a lot lately. I've been pushing it back, trying to distract myself with other things, other tasks to get done and yet, it always returns. And you know what also returns with it? This strange combination of optimism and trepidation. The former because I'm so heartbroken by the devastation this pandemic has left in its wake and the latter, because I think I've finally found a rhythm in life that suits me. That doesn't drain me.
OK, I know that's strange to say — especially given how much I do miss my family and my friends and good God, what I wouldn't do to hop on a flight out of town— trust me, I want life to return to some semblance of it's normal pace. But there's also quite a bit about my newfound patterns and routines that make me happy. Like waking up early and going to bed early. No big evening plans, with back to back brand events that derail my downtime. The need to get creative at home with my own camera. Long talks while making dinner at home with my boyfriend. The welcome solitude of a neighborhood walk.
In a lot of ways, throughout the hardships of this past year, I've created a cocoon for myself— mainly out of necessity, sure, but now that I'm here in it, it's hard to feel excited about breaking out of it just yet. I feel safe and balanced in it. Can anyone else relate?
Whenever I think about the debate of gun control in this country, I think about this PBS Town Hall with then President Obama, where he quite pragmatically outlines how and why we need common sense gun control laws in less than 5 minutes. The fact that I can vividly remember when the Columbine shooting happened in 1999 (a kid not much younger than those involved) and can recall, in a hazy blur mind you, all the mass shootings that have occurred since, with zero progress made on gun control, well, that's just horrifyingly tragic.
Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion’s hit song and Grammy performance mirrors how millennial Black women are challenging respectability politics, says hip-hop scholar Aria S. Halliday. A great read anddddd you will get 'WAP' stuck in your head. Sorry, not sorry.
Why does the gender wage gap still exist? And what can be done to close it? This article unpacks the issue, in light of March 24th just passing— the date that marks just how far most women in America need to work into the new year in order to match their male counterpart's pay. And that date varies on race.
"You tell yourself that the world cannot be filled with this much hate, hoping that one day these thoughts will erase the pain and that compassion will somehow manifest itself into every being - but the reality is, there is so much hate. In fact, you don’t need to travel far to witness it because sometimes, it will walk through your front door to let itself in. America has failed us as a community. Not only did the former administration fuel anti-Asian sentiment, but this nation has failed us from the beginning - from the Chinese Exclusion Act to utilizing Asians as the model minority to justify racist anti-Blackness ideals - America has always had a racist history of vilifying minorities in a time of crisis, while allowing white supremacy to roam its streets.
The senseless shooting in Atlanta yesterday is just more reason why we must all rise up to not only #StopAsianHate, but to proactively protect Asian communities. They were our women and they did not deserve this fate. They were daughters, mothers, sister, wives. As Asian women, we are often taught to stay silent and compliant, not to draw attention to the problem with the possibility of creating more problems, but this will no longer be. To my AAPI brothers and sisters, I hope we can use this anger, fear, sadness to root out hate. To our allies, please do what you can, not just as a display of solidarity, but participate in a more active role to uplift our community - we are not the virus."
I shared a few resources in yesterday's blog post but this guide is an extremely comprehensive starting point for allyship resources, key organizations to donate to and current stats and legislation measures.
Sometimes, the smallest details distract me in the biggest way. Yesterday for instance, the afternoon sunshine poured in through our living room windows, creating the most beautiful shadows across our coffee table. I immediately stopped writing the email I was mid-typing and grabbed my camera. Ten minutes later, I was dipping this vintage Chanel bottle into its own mini private pool, pearls and all, thinking almost out loud to myself how divine a bath of Chanel No. 5 would feel.
Then, I started to notice all the imperfections on the bottle itself. Little scratches here and there, fading in the ink on the label, small patches of age discoloration — and it made me love it even more. So much charm and character packed into one small bottle that I was just now getting to fully appreciate, magnified underwater.
Where am I going with all this? No where really, other than to remind you to celebrate and honor the small details. No matter how fleeting, whenever and however you can. Even if it’s just the afternoon sun, reminding you to look up from your laptop every once and a while.
As we find ourselves at the one year anniversary of a chapter that has changed all our lives in big and small ways, I hope you can remember to take joy in details — at least for me, they've made all the difference these past 365 days.
My friends at Farfetch asked me to join a tribute they were putting together for International Women's Day earlier this week and I'm so honored to be featured alongside so many amazing women, whose platforms I truly admire in this space. We were asked to emulate a favorite female icon and I made a younger Krystal proud by selecting Amelia Earhart, an aviation pioneer who I dressed up as when I was younger for a school project. Love when things come full circle like that.
I know this isn't the sexiest thing in our list today but trust me, you should be getting a jump start on your taxes now — there are a lot of changes this year that could cut your bill or even generate extra refunds.
If you're still thinking about last Sunday's Oprah interview — I'm in the same boat. This essay on colorism is a great, succinct read — here's an excerpt that stood out to me:
"Is “light-skin privilege” a thing? Yes. It is, and I say this as a Black woman with lighter skin. I do not take pleasure in recognizing that I have experienced a certain level of privilege due to my skin tone at some point in my life. But just as heterosexuals must acknowledge their privilege and as Whites must acknowledge theirs, I have to recognize that in the U.S., Black folks who have lighter skin often experience preferential treatment. If this weren’t the case, colorism would not exist."
4minute read4minute read "I think when you begin to think of yourself as having achieved something, then there's nothing left for you to work towards. I want to believe that there is a mountain so high that I will spend my entire life striving to reach the top of it." ~ Cicely Tyson
Earlier this summer, I was introduced to Clive Christian — a brand with deeply rooted British heritage, with none other than Queen Victoria herself as perhaps their first true ambassador (her crown-likeness sits atop each bottle, in fact!).
Their scents — drawing from the ethereally light and floral to the heady and rich, have quickly become some of my favorites; delicious notes that have undeniably punctuated a strange, and at times, blurry year. But that's the thing about memories, isn't it? We spend so much effort romanticizing the good times — crystalizing them in our minds — that we forget the harder ones can be just as pivotal, just as sweet, just as worthy of remembrance. A reminder of what we overcame and how we forged ahead.
A few weeks ago, their team sent me their latest fragrance — Crab Apple Blossom — and I was immediately taken by the blend. Top notes infused with marine bergamot, bitter yuzu, lemon tree and citruswood, balanced with softer, quieter heart notes of neroli and water lily, grounded with just a touch of sandalwood and moss. It's an elusive mix of opposites that I think serves as a fitting ending tribute to this whirlwind of a year. A blend that balances extremes in a beautiful way — the whimsical with the grounded. The bitter with the sweet. The ingénue with the femme fatale. The out of focus with sharp clarity. Take the crab apple itself for instance, arguably one of the most sour apple types around and rarely eaten straight off the tree — but when prepared the right way and paired lovingly with the right ingredients, its counterparts? It sings. Oh, it sings.
Anddddd on the flip side, when too much positivity becomes a negative thing -- I found this article to be quite interesting. Here's a succinct pull quote:
"When people use or demand positive emotions or optimism in a way that causes people to feel oppressed or disregarded, that's toxic positivity,” Stephanie Preston, Ph.D., professor of psychology at the University of Michigan explains. “It ranges from people actively trying to maintain their own spirits or sticking their heads in the sand, to forcefully preventing others from voicing uncomfortable concerns.” No matter how well meaning, such blind positivity can feel “repressive or invalidating to others,” Preston adds.
3minute read3minute read "If you live in New York long enough — and it doesn’t have to be very long — it gradually becomes unrecognizable. And maybe, you begin to realize, it’s for someone else entirely, someone new or from somewhere else, someone perhaps with more money, more energy: someone circumstantially or possibly constitutionally ignorant of what you took to be authentic about this place when it felt like it was yours. (Nothing makes you feel old like listening to someone talk about what you know to be an upstart as iconic.) It’s too big a city to live in all of it, so you find your corners, your go-tos. Sometimes they are long-running, but mostly they come and they go. It’s part of the Darwinian, self-alienating thrill of the place: More often than not, you outlive your landmarks."