I must warn you. This is a long, and somewhat rambling post. But when Dove asked me to be part of their #LoveYourHair campaign, encouraging women to embrace whatever it is they want about their hair, natural or not, and own it -- well, it made me want to tell this story...

Back at one of my first writing jobs, I distinctly remember my editor telling me one afternoon, "Women really shouldn't have long hair past a certain age. It makes you look young."

Of course, at the time, I was a spry 22 year old, eager to work long, late nights on deadline and do anything I could to get the best story. The best photo for page 1. The best source for the best quote. Oh, and I happened to have long hair. And for the first time, I was actually very painfully aware of how something seemingly trivial, like my hair, could possibly stand in my way, professionally speaking. It seemed odd and relatively counterintuitive to me that my hair could possibly stand in my way of doing my best on the job, because someone might treat me like a child. Or so I was told.

It wasn't until years later, while working at a different job, that I actually mustered the courage to cut off my long hair. 12 inches to be exact. While I wouldn't say the motivation was necessarily to look "older" on the job, or like a more "trust worthy employee," I'd be lying if I didn't feel a hint of both after taking the plunge. If you're a longtime reader of this blog, you might remember that hair style of mine. The lob bob that I called my own for about 4 years, styled with a slight wave.

And truth be told, I loved that hair style. As someone with very thick, dry hair, my mermaid length was getting to be more work than it was worth to me at that point in time. I wanted a change -- and that's the exact beauty of hair, isn't it? It allows us to express ourselves in ways that have far less repercussions than say, a tattoo when you're feeling liberated and inspired at 17 years old.

That's when life threw me a curve ball.

After dating the same guy for 4 years, we broke up. Amicably, mind you (but that's a different story, for another day) the point is this, I was single for the first time in at least 6 years (yeah, I have a bad habit of immediately getting into relationship after relationship). Of course, none of this detail has anything to do with my hair, except for this: I was now thrown into the world of dating apps, where I no longer could rely on mutual friends introducing me to their semi-eligible single dude roster, but rather I was now 6, seemingly meaningful profile photos. Each meant to convey a unique part of my personality and attitude that would hopefully attract a compatible guy. But in actuality, let's be honest. They're 6 photos kinda/sorta/basically meant to convince you that I'm easy on the eyes.

I'll pause here for a crossroads: if you want to chat about online dating, hop to this post I wrote a while back. If you'd like to see where I'm going with this story about hair and self-image, keep trucking along.

So what did this newly single Krystal do? She snapped up her best 6 photos, threw them onto Tinder (yikes, I know), and started swiping. I'll fast forward and save you the awkward first date stories and inevitable drunken not-so-intelligent decisions that may or may not have involved a traditional German boot of beer (hanging head in shame), to get to my point. I distinctly remember a guy I had started dating making an off-hand comment about the length of hair (which at that point, was a little past chin-length). The sentiment was to the effect of: "Oh, the length of your hair makes sense now."

Confession: When I'm confused, I don't hide it well. It's all over my face. And I like to ask a lot of probing questions when I'm confused. This instance was no exception.

"And what exactly does that mean? You mean, you too, have gone through an existential self-reflection period where you ultimately decided to cut off 12 inches of hair as well? Do share!"

He didn't appreciate my sarcasm here.

"No, I mean, it makes sense you cut your hair short while you were dating ex. I feel like a lot of girls do that once they get into relationships. I assume you'll be growing your hair out now that you're single and dating?"

Another confession: I don't have tolerance for people who assume. Needless to say, I didn't call him back after this date. But that wasn't before I probed for a few more answers from him. Spoiler alert: what follows is going to be a bit of a sweeping generalization, and I hate making those, but for the sake of this story, let's just all agree that not ALL men think this way. His reasoning was that men preferred longer hair on women, namely because it made them look younger and, quite frankly, more attractive.

Of course, I realize I'm painting him in somewhat of an unfair light -- what he was saying isn't necessarily far off from what mainstream media tells us is beautiful as far as women's hair goes. Long, shiny, mermaid length with zero split ends, catches the light just perfectly and, oh yeah, bounces. Literally bounces with practically no movement from the gal whose head it's attached to. Has this ever baffled anyone else while they're watching shampoo commercials? Also worth noting, is the lack of diversity in hair types (and subsequently) women in said commercials, but I digress.

Suddenly, sitting there on this date, on the brink of my 30s, an intelligent and self-motivated woman, I was amazed that we were actually having a conversation about the length of my hair and my subsequent ability to attract someone. On one hand, I had a former editor in my head saying, "short hair makes you look more professional and mature", this dude telling me "long hair makes you look more attractive" and then mainstream media saying, "YOUR HAIR NEEDS TO BOUNCE MORE!"

It's exhausting, huh? And this is just hair, we're talking about. Just hair. Not foreign policy. Not climate change. Not gun control. Just the dead material that's essentially sitting on top of our heads, day after day.

But I get it, at the same time. As someone who writes about personal style and fashion, hair is arguably an extension of that personal expression. A statement of who you are, what you stand for or don't stand for, and you can change it whenever you damn well feel like it.

What I realized though, was this: I was sick of the narrative about women and their hair. There's too many "toos" to it. You don't want to look "too" old. You don't want to look "too" young. You don't want to look "too edgy" or "too vanilla" or "too fake" or "too bossy" or "too extreme" or, god forbid, "too different." Just watch Dove's video here to see what I'm talking about.

You know what this girl thinks? Forget the "toos." Between the two sexes, need I remind you, we're the ones who retain more of our hair as we age, so instead of nitpicking it apart, why don't we celebrate it more? Why don't we take risks with it? Why don't we embrace it as something that sets us apart? Why don't we show more types of beautiful hair in advertisements? Why don't we have a cartoon heroine with a pixie cut or an afro or a shaved head or just anything aside from long, waist length blonde hair? Why don't we love it more?

Granted, I think you all might agree this is part of a larger self-image discussion about how women are widely portrayed in mainstream media (just in America, mind you), but for the sake of this post regarding hair, let's start changing the conversation. Together.

So tell me, what do YOU love about your hair?

This post was in collaboration with Dove Hair. As always, all opinions and styling are my own. Thank you for supporting all This Time Tomorrow collaborations!

Photo by Alisha Siegel