If I had a mantra to represent my 33rd year on this little rotating rock we call home, I’d have to say it boils down to: let things go.
Over the years, through many ups and downs, multiple apartment moves, a handful of health scares (for both me and my family) and more than my fair share of 3am existential identity crises, I’ve learned most “problems” aren’t really problems and a little extra sleep fixes most things. Everything else that’s left over, usually just needs a bit of perspective (and/or petting a dog also works wonders here, if for nothing else, than to calm you the F down).
As I woke up in the morning on my 33rd birthday yesterday, I realized I want this year to be more about letting things flow the way they’re supposed to flow, as opposed to trying to feel in control 100% of the time.
I sat down today to write about life lessons I’ve accumulated thus far — but I want to shift the lens here a bit — and share things I’ve officially learned to let go or just stop caring about. Some heavier than others, some are easier said than done, but in the spirit of Marie Kondo, I’m ready to move them to the pile of things “that no longer spark joy.”
- Fear of changing your hair. My hairstylist recently told me: “Haircuts aren’t tattoos — so stop being afraid of changing things.” And he’s so right. In a lot of ways, this can be said about most things you’re hesitant to try out.
- Insecurities. Most people will never notice the insecurity that you can’t stop thinking about. They just won’t.
- Second guessing. It’s a waste of time.
- FOMO is overrated. These days, I relish in JOMO — the joy of missing out, because it means I’m spending my time doing something I really want to do.
- Feeling the need to say YES all the time. There’s power in knowing how much you can handle and taking on things that really feed you — and saying NO to the things that don’t.
6. Putting work over people or experiences. I’m a notorious workaholic, guilty as charged. But I’m making a more concerted effort to balance work with life — to recognize when the work day is done and accepting when the phone needs to be put away. In a different room preferably.
7. Overconsumption. When it comes to what I buy these days, I want to feel with some certainty that there’s staying power to it. I’m tired of constantly cleaning out my closet, wondering where half of the things came from.
8. Feeling bad about nights in. Nights in are magical. And I will 9 times out of 10 be excited about an evening at home over a big night out.
9. Gossip. It doesn’t do anyone any favors. And while I’ve always tried to avoid it, it’s an easy trap to fall into sometimes without even realizing it, one that I’m just now choosing to remove myself from completely when it arises.
10. Comparison. I think we all struggle with this one — and it certainly doesn’t help that the ease to which you can compare yourself to anyone these days is as simple as flipping through Instagram for 3 seconds. I’m learning to show myself more grace these days, to stop the cycle of self-criticism before it spins out of control and remind myself, everyone is going through something and it’s never as perfect as it seems.
And that’s it! Ten things I’m ready to haul to the curb this year. Would love to hear yours!
OUTFIT DETAILS: Vintage coat (bought at Housing Works, similar style here) // Tibi skirt (old, similar style here) // Zara turtleneck (similar style here) // Sarah Flint heels // Vintage bag (bought up in Hudson Valley, love this similar style here) // Longchamp scarf (gifted) // Vintage Chanel earrings
Photos by Lydia Hudgens