5 minute read Your weekly internet fodder for perhaps one of the biggest weeks so far in 2020.
5 minute read An assortment of responsible to-dos my girlfriends and I have been chatting about lately.
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Raise your hand if you grew up with Mr. Rogers.
If I had to guess, I would say a lot of you, like me, were glued to the television when his program was on. My sister and I, being quite close in age, would watch together -- likely soothed by his soft tone of voice, his playful way of explaining things and, of course, Daniel the Tiger, along with a ton of other "special guests" who would stop by the neighborhood. Sure, a lot of his episodes were technically reruns. Sure, the animation and sets weren't as high fidelity as other children's shows at the time. And sure, I suppose it was kind of strange he always put on the same cardigan every time he came home. But there was also something so comforting about him, as well, like how he could explain anything in a way that never made you feel confused or lost. He could take some of the hardest topics for kids -- like fear, divorce, war -- and somehow make them feel manageable. He reminded you that even though things may frighten or scare you, they don't need to feel big or insurmountable. That was his magic. Making the big feel small, or at least, approachable.
Somewhere along the way, I, like many of you perhaps, lost sight of that. Adulthood, or at least in the way I've come to understand it, likes to make things complicated, and sometimes, if not most of the time, unnecessarily so. Somewhere along the way, we forgot how to break our problems down into bite size, manageable steps, because if we're not seen as charging full speed through something, multi-tasking a million things at once, it's somehow less impressive? Less monumental? Less transformative? Somewhere along the way, we forgot how to be kind to ourselves, for fear that someone else might be getting ahead of us if we ease up or, god forbid, take a break.
I don't know about you, but I certainly wasn't kind to myself in 2019. I beat myself up a lot. Usually over self-imposed goals and expectations. Over things I thought I "should" be doing. Or achieving. And instead of fueling me, it left me feeling empty, and if I'm really honest, directionless and unhappy. That isn't to say I'm not proud of what I feel I achieved last year, but I wish I could have celebrated those milestones more, without fixating so much on the marks I feel I missed.
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Where am I going with all of this? Well, I suppose we're all in the same boat right now, a bit hungover from grand resolutions being thrown around. Like last year, I'm sharing my intentions for 2020, as opposed to resolutions, because I think intentions focus much more on the mental state of a goal. And my mental state this year, as you'll see in the following beloved Mr. Rogers, quote, revolves around kindness. Kindness to others, of course, but above all, kindness to myself.
“There are three ways to ultimate success: The first way is to be kind. The second way is to be kind. The third way is to be kind.” ~ Mr. Rogers
So without further adieu, let's dive into this year's intentions...
OUTFIT DETAILS: Talbots shirt (gifted, similar style here) // Carolina Herrera skirt // Roger Vivier heels (gifted) // Alighieri earrings (gifted)
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And just as a reminder, more so for my future self when I'm reading through these later this year -- this list isn't meant to act as a strict guideline for the year ahead (and it's definitely not something to beat myself up over either!). Instead, it's fluid. It'll likely change. But hopefully it can help inform and gently guide where I want 2020 to take me this year.
Personal wellness intention: Treating myself with more respect and kindness with small, daily actions.
- Spend at least 30 minutes every day doing a physical activity -- a run, a workout class, a long walk home -- anything to get my heart rate going and my mind cleared.
- Read before going to bed, with my phone charging in the other room.
- Book a personal trip (or two!) where I don't capture content. At all.
- Cook more meals at home with Ty.
- Reduce my phone screen time on weekends.
- Drink at least 2 liters of water every day.
Professional intention: Approaching my work from a fulfillment standpoint, not just a "success" or "numbers" standpoint.
- Focus on creating and sharing work that I truly feel proud of, regardless of how it "performs" on a certain platform.
- Collaborate with more likeminded photographers and fellow influencers whose creative eye I really admire.
- Finish redesigning my website to reflect my aesthetic.
- Explore freelance styling and writing opportunities.
- Finally push myself to curate an online vintage collection/boutique -- more on this later!
- Saying no, when it should be no. Saying yes, when it should be yes. And standing my ground for both.
Relationship intention: Enrich, enrich, enrich.
- Reconnect with friends I've lost touch with -- by planning more phone catch up dates or in-person dinners.
- Plan a few extra trips back home to see my parents -- I tend to only really seem them during the holiday season, which always goes by too fast!
- Plan a sister trip -- we've been talking about this for so long, that it finally needs to happen!
- Spend more evenings at home PRESENT with Ty. We're both guilty of evening phone screen time and I'd like to establish a healthier routine where we can fully be present for each other.
Now, I'd love to hear from you -- what are your intentions for the year? Do you have a word, like kindness is for me, that'll guide you in the months ahead?
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6 minute read Blame it on Mercury being in retrograde first. Then try these tips.
8 minute read The not-so-fun facial rash that is super common, but no one talks about.
4 minute read "Who do you follow online for style inspiration and do they look just like you?"
10 minute read A look back at the highs and lows of 2018 and how I want to tackle 2019.
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As I'm writing this post, I'm currently sitting in a cafe in the design district of Milan.
Coffee and espresso orders are being shouted in the most affectionate way that I think only Italians can manage, as the morning commuters hurry along outside to the nearest Metro station. Less than 12 hours ago, I wasn't entirely sure if I would be extending the last part of this jaunt through Italy before hopping over to Paris for a last minute press trip. It's a funny thing, having "unplanned" time during a trip and it's something that I think most of us dread, especially when traveling alone, as I will be for the next few days. Between social media influencing our vacation planning decisions and the seemingly endless accommodation options on AirBnB, the very thought of leaving certain decisions to chance seems reckless. Careless even? Or just plain unprepared. Why leave some decisions to the last minute when there's infinite trips being shared online all the time, with the perfect vantage points, the perfect cafes and the perfect restaurants that have essentially made the decisions for you. Takes the guess work out of traveling, so to speak.
Don't get me wrong. I don't mean for my perhaps sarcastic tone to be misinterpreted. In a lot of ways, I think social media has been an incredible gateway through which we can not only see the world but EXPERIENCE it as well -- taking the foreign and making it familiar -- encouraging us to just go OUT and GET IN IT. Heck, I owe much of my career based in traveling for a living to the democratization of travel on social media and there isn't a day or a trip that goes by that I don't feel incredibly thankful for that.
I suppose where it gets me though, is the slippery slope we find ourselves on now, myself included -- in which the very curiosity and exploration factors of travel are being homogenized. Think about it. How many times have you seen the rocky, colorful hillside of Positano this summer from the influencers you follow? Or Capri? Or Paris? Or Morocco? 4? 5? 20? And each time, I'm afraid to say, there isn't much variety in the photos shared. It's the same balcony shot, it's the same restaurant doorway, it's the same umbrella and rocky beach shot, and while I think there's beauty in sharing those gem locations, it makes me wonder what it's all for -- to experience something or just to prove something? If we don't get those exact same shots, were we even there? As someone who is certainly guilty of all of the above on previous trips and has even gone out of her way to get certain perfect vantage points all for the 'gram usually at the cost of a few grey hairs, I'm now starting to realize as a content creator and consumer, I'm exhausted and quite honestly, to put it lightly, bored.
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I think Fohr's founder, James Nord, perhaps put it best when he brought up this same topic in a recent Instagram post of his:
"Trips gives influencers a chance to create unique, beautiful imagery, but it’s often the same thing over, and over, and over, and over. Same landscapes, same boat shots, same doorways. These posts gloss over the quiet in-between moments, the new things you’ve never seen before, the times you were a little scared or lost in awe. They begin to look the same and followers can’t distinguish one from the other.
You can manufacture a lot of things but in-real-life experiences should be about wonder and joy and discovery and you can’t manufacture those things."
I'm still sitting in the same cafe as before, now moving onto my afternoon espresso, killing a bit of time before my train to Florence leaves. I'm very aware that you all have seen plenty of Italy and Paris this summer on your Instagram feeds so I won't sit here and pretend that my content is somehow revolutionary -- it's not. But what I do hope to do more of, especially in the days ahead as I travel alone, is to share the sense of wonder that we all desperately look for when traveling -- the good, the frightening, the majestic -- and if I can't seem to document it in a photo, well then I certainly hope a good story will suffice.
After all, we all love a good story, right? I know I do.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a train to catch. Arrivederci!
OUTFIT DETAILS: Carolina Herrera ball gown skirt (picked up at their sample sale, love this current style here) // Zara halter top (similar style here) // Sergio Rossi heels // Jacquemus hat // Chanel earrings
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Do you remember what you wore for your first professional job interview?
Mine was a black pencil skirt, a white peasant style blouse, billowy at the sleeves with a high collar, black pumps from Old Navy and my big yellow leather shoulder bag, that I affectionately dubbed my Big Bird bag. My boyfriend at the time teased me that I could fit everything I needed in it. And then some. The collective total for my outfit was probably well under $150 -- a huge chunk of my then waitressing paycheck and man, I loved that "professional" outfit of mine. I was a junior in college and I was heading in for a reporter internship interview at a local newspaper, The Sparks Tribune.
I remember feeling terrified as to what my editor would be like. What questions would he ask me? Would he be really stern? Would he give me an AP style copy editing test, right there on the spot? Would he like me?
And despite all my doubts and fears of the interview itself, I do remember feeling quite confident regardless, when I walked in for that interview. I held my head high, looked him straight in the eye and told myself, "You've earned A's up until this point, you must know something he'll be impressed with. Or at the very least, impress him with your incredible dad joke wit."
Thankfully, I didn't have to result to the latter (no offense, Dad) and I walked away that afternoon with an internship offer -- something I chock up to a good mental pep talk to remind myself what I know I'm capable of and an outfit that didn't let me forget that fact. You all have undoubtedly heard me say this before, but I'm a firm believer in the idea that if you look and feel your best, you perform at your best. You command a room better, you hold attention longer, you FEEL stronger, when you have an outfit that makes you feel your most powerful.
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It's that same sentiment that lead me to find the non-profit organization Dress for Success, whose MO is very much aligned. Dress for Success works to economically empower women through educational programming, mentorships and professional outfitting. I've been a longtime supporter of Dress for Success and their mission but when they invited me to join them for a day of filming a few promotional videos with their ambassadors, it was my first time getting to meet and interact with women who have actually gone through and benefited from their programming. Each woman came to Dress for Success with their own reasons and under vastly different circumstances, but they all walked away with the same belief and confidence in themselves that is quite truly, irreplaceable.
To learn more about each ambassador, hop over to the Vanity Fair Lingerie YouTube channel where you'll meet them and be sure to hit play on my intro video down below. I'd like to thank both Dress for Success for having me for the day and Vanity Fair Lingerie for their longstanding Buy One, Get One, Give One offer, in which for every Vanity Fair bra purchased, you'll receive one free bra with another bra being donated to Dress for Success on your behalf, the goal being to donate 50,000 bras in total. Because if an outfit will make you hold your shoulders back and your head high, a proper fitting bra is the first step in setting up that foundation. It's the secret of many a london escort, or a successful business woman, after all.
You can learn more about Vanity Fair's BOGOGO offer here. To learn more about how you can get involved with Dress for Success, head to their "Get Involved" page here.
OUTFIT DETAILS: Zara blazer (similar style here) // Aritzia dress (old from last year, but LOVE the color of this dress and it's on sale!) // Dior shoes // Vintage Dior double saddle bag // Maje belt // Showroad necklace
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This post was in collaboration with Dress for Success and Vanity Fair Lingerie. As always, all opinions and styling are my own. Thank you for supporting all This Time Tomorrow collaborations!
Photos by Carter Fish // Video by Dress for Success and Vanity Fair teams
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Truth be told: I didn't realize this would be such a requested topic.
Just a few weeks ago, after playing around with the newly launched Questions feature on Insta Stories, I noticed a common question popping up -- namely around how I prepared and eventually moved to New York City about three years ago from San Francisco. I suppose at the time of moving, I didn't exactly consider myself an expert on the subject by any stretch of the imagination -- heck, I was flying by the seat of my pants and praying that my stuff made it across the country seemingly in one piece, a friend who knew about Bradford real estate gave me some advice on how to move into New York because he had lived there before -- so it felt misguided of me to share my blueprints as the "be-all, end-all" plan.
But, I think after reflecting these past few years, I've realized how much that process was a long time in the making -- years really -- so I wanted to sit down and jot down my thoughts on the subject, in hopes it helps some of you, sitting wherever you're sitting in the world, make that New York dream a reality, too. I can remember how it was getting close to moving day and I was stressing out so much. I didn't know how I was going to transport all of my items in one go, especially as I only had a small car at the time. Luckily for me, a family friend offered to hire a van which they would use to help me take my possessions to my new home. This was amazing because I didn't think this would even be an option, but I'm so grateful this offer came through. He was telling me how it wasn't hard to get a van, the companies he looked into they have an online quotation system, made the process of obtaining the right insurance a lot easier. I look back on how everything was initially and I'm so happy with how everything has turned out.
First things first, though -- let's set some context.
For those of you who don't know already, I am not originally from New York or the east coast in general, and I have no family on this side of the country. I'm originally from Reno, Nevada -- 'Biggest Little City in the World' and it truly feels that way. Big enough to get lost, small enough where you know most people. And for as long as I can remember, I wanted to live in New York. I blame this on many books (Catcher in the Rye and The Great Gatsby to name a few), and several fictional TV/movie characters (Carrie, yes, I'm looking at you) and after a brief 5-year stint working in tech in San Francisco, I eventually made the cross-country leap, with the help of my company at the time. I should note, Google helped subsidize the costs of the move, covering most of the bigger expenses, like getting all my things from point A (SF) to point B (NYC), as it wouldn't be fair to not paint that full financial picture for you. But there was a lot I knew I had to be prepared to cover myself, upfront, and even more, so that I discovered perhaps the hard way.
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The bottom line is: Moving to New York is expensive. Living here is even more expensive. Here's how I did it and what I learned in the process.
It's true what they say -- it's NOT for everyone: Let's start here, shall we? Lots of people want to move to New York, not everyone wants to actually LIVE here. It's fast-paced, it's expensive, it's HOT in the summer, it's COLD in the winter, it's basically a city of extremes -- which means the pros (and don't get me wrong, there are MANY!) are sometimes equally met with the cons, depending on how you look at it. Before you start getting those proverbial ducks in a row to move to NYC, I would definitely recommend visiting the city multiple times, preferably at different times of the year to see if you can actually picture your life here. After many NYFW visits during February (read: when hell actually freezes over), and realizing that I still really wanted to live here, I knew I couldn't turn back.
The cost and logistics of moving: As I mentioned before, much of the actual move cost was subsidized by Google, my employer at the time, but that doesn't mean I splurged. I was given a set amount and I had to make it stretch. Moving is never easy for anyone, but it is not an impossible task. Whether someone needs to learn more about using a vehicle transport service, for example, find boxes big enough to fit essentials, go house hunting or even get the help of friends/family to assist them on the day, there's so much that goes into the moving process. When the time came to actually figure out what was coming with me across the country, I realized how much I actually needed to downsize. A lot of furniture was donated (bye, bye Ikea) and I even sold a bunch of clothes -- all in hopes to lighten the final load. Since I was taking only a handful of pieces of furniture (a bed, dresser, bar cart, a bike, and my closet), I ultimately went with a shipping container -- one that gets dropped off at your home/apartment, you pack it yourself, it gets picked up a few days later and is driven across the country via semi-trucks. The grand total was around several thousand, but it depends on what size container you order and how heavy the actual load comes out to be. I ordered Task Rabbit movers for packing up my SF apartment and again when it came time to unload and move into my NYC apartment.
Ditch your car: Perhaps this goes without saying, but you won't need it here and in fact, it'll cost you quite a bit just to keep it in the city, depending on which neighborhood you end up in. My two cents: sell it or donate it before you leave, unless you're ready to pony up for premium parking here in the city. I donated my car to Kars 4 Kids (a great end of year tax write off!).
Research your neighborhoods: Since I had a decent amount of visits to NYC under my belt, I had a relatively solid understanding of what neighborhoods I really LOVED hanging out in and which ones I could actually see myself living in. Perhaps it's the Carrie Bradshaw aficionado in me, but my heart was always in the West Village from the start. Of course, this came with some hard realizations: every neighborhood is expensive, some more so than others (like the West Village), and you really have to consider what type of lifestyle you're looking to balance. Do you want to be near the parks? Do you want great restaurants nearby? What about nightlife? What if you want more peace and quiet? How close are major subway lines? What does your commute to work look like? And then there's the HARD question of what can you actually afford? Should you consider roommates to help alleviate the cost? And as much as possible, try to chat with people who live in those neighborhoods -- see what they love about the area and what they hate. When I was moving, I talked a lot with coworkers and friends -- but if you're starting from scratch here, try reaching out on social media -- you'd be surprised how happy people are to share what they love (and what they hate!) about their neighborhood to help you out!
The apartment hunting process is not for the faint of heart: While researching your neighborhoods, it's also a good idea to get really comfortable with the following truth: it's not easy finding an apartment in New York City. Sure, there are those urban legends that someone magically lucked out with a rent-controlled, high-ceiling, pre-war beauty for a fraction of the normal going rental price, but the reality is, it's hard work and you rarely get everything you're looking for.
When I was searching for apartments, I was doing most of it from across the country while still working and living in SF, and therefore had to rely on a broker, who was basically my eyes and ears on the ground here in NYC. Let it suffice to say: he earned his commission! I planned one long weekend in NYC to look at a BUNCH of apartments back to back and had to ultimately decide on one soon after so I could keep my relocation on schedule. As much as I'd love to say it's realistic to take your time and house up in hotels and Air BnBs before deciding on an apartment, most of us don't have that budget or that time frame to work with -- things move fast here, especially semi-decent apartments, so you have to as well, or you'll be left in the lurch. My advice: make a list of your non-negotiables (mine were pet-friendly, off the ground floor, near subway lines) and make another list of things you're willing to budge on (storage space, aesthetic qualities) and be open-minded and realistic with yourself when searching. Oh, and that upper maximum rate you set for yourself -- STICK TO IT.
Some general rules of thumb to keep in mind when searching: there are a lot of units available in the summer, mainly because students are graduating and possibly relocating for the season but rental rates are typically lower in the winter, February being the BEST time to sign a lease. Pet-friendly buildings are harder to come by and they vary by neighborhood -- West Village, generally speaking, is pretty dog-friendly. A broker is 99% of the time inevitable, whether you like it or not and they typically charge around 15% of the yearly rent. StreetEasy will be your best resource for listings -- check it daily.
Get your financials in ORDER: OK, so you've found an apartment you LOVE (or at least, tolerate enough to throw thousands of dollars at each month), now what? First of all, you have to get your belongings in there using a company similar to https://www.dscarriers.co.uk/removals-glasgow/. Then, now it's time for your marathon. I don't know how to put this nicely, so I won't: the approval process is cut-throat here. Case in point: most building management companies and/or landlords require that you make 40 to 50 times the monthly rent in a year, and if you don't, they may require you to have a guarantor on file (i.e. someone who promises to pay if you default). To make matters more complicated, sometimes they'll require that the guarantor lives in the tri-state area, to make collecting easier. As someone whose parents live on the other side of the country, if I had to go that route, I'd be screwed (thankfully, I didn't).
So what goes into an application you ask? Several recent pay stubs, recent tax returns, bank statements, all liquid asset statements, employment letter, previous landlord references, personal references, a credit check and a handwritten note, signed in blood, promising your first unborn child. (I'm only sort of kidding on that last point.) Even after all that, there's still a possibility that you may not get approved, depending on the building and the area -- sometimes management agencies will cut deals and ask that you pay several month's rent upfront to guarantee. My advice would be to polish that application package -- and identify the areas where you need to beef things up. Pad that savings account (more on that in the next bullet point), and have most paperwork already printed and ready to go (I arrived at most apartment viewings with my application already prepared in manilla folders).
Since I was working full-time at Google when applying, my employment letter carried a bit more weight than perhaps what my self-employed application might look like now, so that's something to keep in mind as well.
SAVE: This point should probably be the first and most obvious one to underline and underscore: SAVE UP. After you've gotten past the initial sticker shock of rental prices, move prices and broker fees, there's the unavoidable truth: New York is just plain expensive. Dining out is expensive. Dining in is expensive. Having a social life of some sort is expensive. Heck, washing your dog is expensive here. On top of that, NYC alone has a ridiculous amount of taxes to deal with (federal, state and city) so you'll need to sit down and really review your current financial and employment situation before moving. Since I was coordinating my move at the same time as a possible career change (that being quitting my full-time gig and pursuing blogging full-time) I knew I wanted that savings account to be even fatter than usual. Full disclosure: it took me several years to get my savings to account to a place where I felt comfortable moving and eventually quitting -- the very last thing I wanted was to get there and realize I had nothing to fall back on if I needed it.
Of course, while everything above sounds like an incredible PAIN IN THE ASS, the morning I woke up after spending the first night in my West Village apartment, with nothing but an inflatable mattress on the ground and lots of boxes, I couldn't wipe the stupid grin off my face. And, despite my ups and downs with the city over the years, that smile has stayed ever since.
What about you guys? Do any of you live in NYC? What was your experience moving here like?
OUTFIT DETAILS: Ulla Johnson top (from the sample sale, available in green here) // & Other Stories skirt // Manolo Blahnik kitten heels (borrowed) // Zara beaded bag (similar style here) // No label mismatched rhinestone earrings (Super cheap, pick up a few pairs here and here and mix and match them!)
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3 minute read Workouts to kick jet lag, fashion mistakes that make New Yorkers cringe and are we witnessing the downfall of influencers?
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Hello friends, and happy Friday!
As of this moment, I'm basking in a feeling I haven't yet experienced — I'm a college graduate! In case you didn't know, I, Nora, am (was?) a student at New York University for the past four years, studying media, culture, and communication and creative writing. I moved to New York for school and haven't looked back since, but, in that sense, I really haven't looked back since. This week has been a flurry of finals, events, and multiple (yes, multiple) graduation ceremonies, and I feel like I still haven't had a chance to catch my breath. I'm physically and emotionally exhausted, and I have no plans for this weekend other than to sleep for an entire day. Or maybe a couple of days.
Among all of the craziness that's gone on lately, and even as I write this, I haven't really been thinking about the past. I've been thinking about what to wear to Radio City Music Hall for graduation #1 (NYU really believes in casual graduation venues), I've been thinking about all the work I have to do for my last final (turned in on time on Tuesday! Woo!), I've been thinking about how I've been staying up way past my bedtime and waking up way before my alarm clock in order to get everything done that needs to get done. Even at the actual graduation ceremonies, I find myself thinking ahead to the next friend's name about to be read, or to the next meal I'll get to eat, or to how hot/rainy/chilly/windy it'll be once we get outside — the weather has been insane this week. It's been hard to really live in the moment, let alone the past.
But now, I finally have a minute to breathe, and to process everything that's happened to me not only in the past week but the past four amazing years at NYU and in New York. I've had so many incredible experiences in this city that were facilitated by my presence at NYU, and for that I'll be forever grateful. Heck, I wouldn't have met Krystal were it not for NYU housing me in Greenwich Village — I creepily DM'd her on Instagram about how we had all the same favorite spots until she had to be my friend, ha! I will miss my friends who are moving away to start the next part of their life. Some have been offered jobs already, someone is becoming a Cultural Care Au Pair so they can travel and earn some money and some have decided to continue with education in another place. At least I still have plenty of friends that are still near me.
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So, in no particular order, here are a few of my Friday favorites, college edition:
- Skipping every Welcome Week event freshman year in favor of taking the train everywhere and always walking home — that's how I learned both the grid and subway system!
- When my dear friend Cynthia waddled into my room before the first day of classes, swathed in a blanket, sat down on the ground, and said, "We have to go to class tomorrow…and I have to figure out the rest of my LIFE tomorrow!" I think you still have some time, Cynthia 🙂
- Posting a picture of Karlie Kloss's Milk Bar cookie and getting a like from Karlie herself, which then spurred a huge influx of other likes on said photo!
- New York sunsets. Enough said.
- Sitting on the real Friends couch at a pop-up in Soho
- My first trip to Harlem, which put me a mere few blocks away from where I'd eventually (and currently!) live!
- My first — and last — Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade
- Taking part in all the amazing activism that originates in Washington Square Park, aka my college campus
- Finding the best lunches around town
- This feeling.
- Train trips up the eastern seaboard to visit spots like Wes Anderson's Moonrise Kingdom
- THIS FEELING. (*starts singing The Schuyler Sisters*)
- Study abroad in Paris! This was such a beautiful time — but it was also so hard adjusting to life in a different country, without many friends, not speaking the language, while life goes on without you at home. More on that another time, though!
- Seeing time change — our favorite corner in 2016 on the Fourth of July and 2018, on graduation day
There are so many more moments, but I'll spare you for now. Just a reminder to anyone going through anything at the moment: don't be afraid to look back. Make time for it. It matters. But also, always keep looking forward — there will be better things on the horizon.
Have a great weekend!
OUTFIT DETAILS: Sezane dress (gifted) // Cafune bag // Self Portrait heels
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Just the other day, I received a DM from a reader that really got me thinking. Her message said this:
"You know what I love about your blog/style...unlike a lot of bloggers, you actually re-wear your pieces. I'm more likely to buy something that I've seen someone wear a lot than an item they wore once."
Seems like a simple concept, right? After all, the universe is expanding all the time, but unfortunately, unless you happen to be a Kardashian, your closet isn't. (I may have stolen that line from a Manhattan Mini Storage ad, but shhh...don't tell anyone).
But the more I think about it, the more I realize I, too, have felt this pressure, this NEED perhaps, to show something NEW all the time either here on my site or on my Instagram channel. We're talking to the point where, full disclosure, I've felt a pang of "ohhh...maybe I shouldn't be showing something I bought a few years ago because it's not currently for sale anymore." It's a fleeting moment, before I eventually put on said item and I realize, I just like the way it looks with my outfit and shrug it off just the same. It's an exhausting consumerism game -- and I both willingly feed into it and sometimes resent it, if I'm being completely honest.
Having been a content creator of some sort for the past 8 years, I've been forced to really evaluate a lot of my spending habits on clothes and accessories -- after all, they're directly tied to my livelihood and I need to make a case for it all to my accountant come April 15th each year. So it's perhaps only natural to see this as a catch-22. One one hand, I love sharing new discoveries with you guys, whether it's a pair of investment designer shoes or an affordable on-trend brand and on the other hand, I just like sharing outfit inspiration that hopefully helps you shop your own closet a bit more -- pulling similar (but not exact) pieces of your own. I suppose it's all a fine balance, one that gets joked about amongst bloggers (the line 'I have nothing NEW to shoot' gets thrown out there a lot), but the older I get and the more I realize my West Village studio has VERY limited storage space, I'd much rather see things I LOVE in that space, rather than things I feel are just there for me to shoot.
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Given the nature of what I do, I fully recognize the influx of new items I get is probably more than the average woman my age and income bracket, but whenever possible, I'll always try to show how I incorporate those items over and over again, hopefully in new and exciting ways for you guys to recreate yourselves.
All of this is to say, here's a white skirt I got earlier last year. It was gifted to me from Ted Baker for a project and I've styled it many different ways over the past few weeks. It's no longer available, but there's the beauty of a classic piece like this. It's a staple -- and the structure and silhouette of it are what make it unique and fun to style over and over again.
OUTFIT DETAILS: SuiStudio blazer (gifted) // Ted Baker skirt (gifted, similar style here) // Hunter boots // Marine Layer hat (from last season, love this boater hat here) // Vintage Chanel earrings
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7 minute read Four ways to carve out time for you without overhauling your routine.
6 minute read #32: Your biggest critic is yourself. Get comfortable with telling yourself to fuck off sometimes.
6 minute read "Many women fight wars on two fronts, one for whatever the putative topic is and one simply for the right to speak, to have ideas, to be acknowledged to be in possession of facts and truths, to have value, to be a human being..."
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I'd like to start today's post with a disclaimer and a note for context.
First, the disclaimer. Today's post is a serious subject. One that may seem polarizing for many people. And one that I recognize isn't necessarily the reason why you come to this site in the first place. I'd like to underscore the fact that my intentions are never to alienate or isolate anyone for what they believe in -- and even if we disagree, I think there's plenty of opportunity in that disagreement to open up discussion and dialogue for change that we all can get behind.
Next, a note for context. Today is my 32nd birthday. And while I had every intention to post my originally scheduled content (a round up of 32 things I've learned thus far, which will be postponed to next Monday), last Wednesday's events in Florida have shaken me in a way that it no longer felt appropriate to NOT say anything on this platform of mine, with so many like-minded amazing women (and men) who I consider more as friends, than "followers."
Today, we're going to talk about gun violence.
I can already hear the "Stay in your lane" comments now. And I get that. I'm not an expert in public policy, nor do I completely understand the ins and outs of gun legislation and how it's influenced -- but you know what? I'd like to understand it more. And perhaps you do, too? And perhaps you don't -- either way, we'll be back to regular programming tomorrow, complete with outfit posts, hair tutorials and Fashion Week roundups. In the meantime, I sincerely hope you'll hear me out and discuss and even debate things with me.
OK, housekeeping items out of the way now? I hope so. Let's dive in.
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Like many of you perhaps, I remember exactly where I was when the Columbine shooting happened back in 1999. I was in the 8th grade at Pine Middle School, sitting in Ms. Dulgar's afternoon science class. Unlike 8th graders today, I didn't have a cell phone or any social media to speak of, so I imagine news broke the old fashioned way: word of mouth. I remember sitting there, ready to take notes about cell division, only to see Ms. Dulgar sitting at the front of our classroom, crying. We then turned our TV on to watch the coverage.
As a 13 year old student that day, I felt scared and confused, but also confident that surely, something so horrible, so heinous, so awful couldn't happen again. Right?
Now, as a 32 year old, still reeling from Florida's events (and Vegas and countless others), I just Googled the question of "how many school shootings have happened since Columbine." You want to know what number came up?
207. Now 208 with Parkland. 208.
Today's post isn't to paint what you can already see is a pretty grim picture. You don't need me to spell it for you. So I won't. But there was something I read over this weekend, while I was debating over whether or not to even write this post, that stuck with me, and eventually convinced me to. My dear friend Keiko posted the following sentiment:
"Imagine if influencers spent as much time talking about gun control as they have talked about the algorithm."
Ooph. She has a point. As someone who's dedicated entire posts to "influencing the algorithm in your favor," and has seen many of her peers do the same with their content and time, I can't help but see the whopping disparity here. If an influencer can convince you to go through the trouble of unfollowing, then following them again, then liking a bunch of their recent photos, then finally leaving a bunch of comments in hopes they'll "show up more in your feed" then surely we can talk about this. And debate this. Maybe even act on some of this together.
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At this point, I'd like to add a bit of further context. I firmly believe this isn't necessarily a political debate. This isn't about conservative vs. liberal values. As a reminder, I grew up in a very conservative state, in a relatively conservative town, with plenty of family members and friends who I love dearly, who are responsible gun owners that will happily educate themselves further into firearms and equipment using websites like Dailycaller.com and others. I feel this is something responsible gun owners wouldn't ever do, instead, they'd obtain their gun and leave it until they potentially "need" it. They knew how to use their gun safely and used the best reloading press to reduce the likelihood of an accident. They also store them somewhere secure and maintain them regularly by using cleaning kits (like those found on this website) to ensure it works as it should to avoid any surprises when it comes to firing one. Some people are extremely careless with their guns though. I think you can be a gun owner and still believe in stricter, more accountable legislation -- nothing about this has to be mutually exclusive.
Therein lies what I think damages this debate too often: that being it's framed as one or the other -- that stricter gun control some how equates to a tyrannical overthrow of the second amendment. And I simply refuse to see if that way. The best analogy, as I'm sure many of you have already read at this point, is comparing this to automobile accidents and fatalities since the 1970s. By studying the causes and factors for these accidents, a number of measures were taken, including mandatory airbags in cars, enforced seat belt laws, stricter sentencing for DUI infractions and implementation of consistent speed limits. Did they fix the problem entirely? No. But it reduced fatalities significantly. We didn't have to remove cars or ban people from driving them. We simply studied what was contributing to the problem and systematically came up with solutions.
Bottom line: We need more legislators, on both sides of the aisle mind you, that have the backbone to push past NRA and other lobbying groups agendas and financing, to see to it that we can study this problem and pragmatically come up with the steps necessary to CURB gun violence. Required and enforced background checks for ALL gun sales in ALL states would be a start. Some legislation has already been passed, such as banning gun sales on Facebook (more info), which demonstrates that small changes to the law can make gun purchasing a safer process.
I'll wrap up this very long, rambling essay now, with the one thing I really want for my birthday. It's not something from Net-A-Porter. And it's not a fancy dinner somewhere. It's for each of you, (whoever is still reading at this point), to talk about this issue. With your friends, with your family. Even if it's uncomfortable. Even if means you don't see eye to eye with everyone. And if you feel so inclined, to talk to your representatives. How? Well, I'm glad you asked. I've recently started following the group Moms Demand Action and Everytown (both great resources for gun violence stats), and they've outlined some easy steps to get involved and take action, including calling your representatives. Simply follow the steps outlined here -- it's easy and takes less than 5 minutes. They even give you a script to help put your thoughts into words.
Again, I hope I didn't make anyone feel singled out or targeted. I will always strive to make this a safe place for conversation and healthy debate -- and yes, while we don't often tackle these types of issues here on This Time Tomorrow, I like to think many of you, in addition to fashion and travel, are also hungry for ways to impact your community and push forward causes and ideas. As always, I'd love to hear from you -- let's chat in the comments below! Or feel free to send me an email.
5 minute read Life always has a funny way of smacking you up side the head to wake you up.
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