"When it comes to shoes, the older I get, the closer I want to be to the ground."
I recently read the above quote while scrolling the other day on Instagram and it first made me chuckle and next, it made me think how much I relate to that concept -- a blasphemous concept for a longtime, statement shoe lover to say let alone type. If you've been following me here for a while, you know how much I've loved my crazy, out there shoes. Ones with sea shells attached, ones with feathers, ones with their own flame-red taillights -- all of them, I teetered in, pushing at least 3.5 all the way up to 5 inches, the very thought of which, are making my ankles wobble a bit now.
Of course, like most things in your 20s, you realize somewhere along the way that perhaps it wasn't worth some of the headache. And while I don't hustle every morning in a daily commute to a desk, I still run around quite a bit around the city, from meetings to shoots, meaning I need shoes that go many extra miles for me but look chic in the process. So when Kenneth Cole approached me about their latest shoe launch -- The Riley -- I was eager to put it to the test, because the resume just sounded too good. Memory foam insoles? Cushioned pod at ball of foot to absorb shock with every step? Additional comfort cushion at heel to evenly distribute standing weight? Insole perforated at forefoot for improved circulation and to cut back on odor? And a classic, elegant design? To be honest, I was looking for the catch, so I decided there was only one way to find out: I wore them to the Harper's Bazaar Icons party during NYFW.
The result? Let's just say, had I known the Cardi B / Nicki fight was going on, my feet were in great shape to run over to the action. After hours of dancing, chatting with friends at the bar and going up and down The Plaza steps many times, I'm pleased to report my Riley heels held up incredibly well, making them some of my most comfortable heels in my rotation today.
Have you guys tried them out yet? What are some of the most comfortable heels you own?
This post was in collaboration with Kenneth Cole. As always, all opinions and styling are my own. Thank you for supporting all This Time Tomorrow collaborations!
As I'm writing this post, I'm currently sitting in a cafe in the design district of Milan.
Coffee and espresso orders are being shouted in the most affectionate way that I think only Italians can manage, as the morning commuters hurry along outside to the nearest Metro station. Less than 12 hours ago, I wasn't entirely sure if I would be extending the last part of this jaunt through Italy before hopping over to Paris for a last minute press trip. It's a funny thing, having "unplanned" time during a trip and it's something that I think most of us dread, especially when traveling alone, as I will be for the next few days. Between social media influencing our vacation planning decisions and the seemingly endless accommodation options on AirBnB, the very thought of leaving certain decisions to chance seems reckless. Careless even? Or just plain unprepared. Why leave some decisions to the last minute when there's infinite trips being shared online all the time, with the perfect vantage points, the perfect cafes and the perfect restaurants that have essentially made the decisions for you. Takes the guess work out of traveling, so to speak.
Don't get me wrong. I don't mean for my perhaps sarcastic tone to be misinterpreted. In a lot of ways, I think social media has been an incredible gateway through which we can not only see the world but EXPERIENCE it as well -- taking the foreign and making it familiar -- encouraging us to just go OUT and GET IN IT. Heck, I owe much of my career based in traveling for a living to the democratization of travel on social media and there isn't a day or a trip that goes by that I don't feel incredibly thankful for that.
I suppose where it gets me though, is the slippery slope we find ourselves on now, myself included -- in which the very curiosity and exploration factors of travel are being homogenized. Think about it. How many times have you seen the rocky, colorful hillside of Positano this summer from the influencers you follow? Or Capri? Or Paris? Or Morocco? 4? 5? 20? And each time, I'm afraid to say, there isn't much variety in the photos shared. It's the same balcony shot, it's the same restaurant doorway, it's the same umbrella and rocky beach shot, and while I think there's beauty in sharing those gem locations, it makes me wonder what it's all for -- to experience something or just to prove something? If we don't get those exact same shots, were we even there? As someone who is certainly guilty of all of the above on previous trips and has even gone out of her way to get certain perfect vantage points all for the 'gram usually at the cost of a few grey hairs, I'm now starting to realize as a content creator and consumer, I'm exhausted and quite honestly, to put it lightly, bored.
"Trips gives influencers a chance to create unique, beautiful imagery, but it’s often the same thing over, and over, and over, and over. Same landscapes, same boat shots, same doorways. These posts gloss over the quiet in-between moments, the new things you’ve never seen before, the times you were a little scared or lost in awe. They begin to look the same and followers can’t distinguish one from the other.
You can manufacture a lot of things but in-real-life experiences should be about wonder and joy and discovery and you can’t manufacture those things."
I'm still sitting in the same cafe as before, now moving onto my afternoon espresso, killing a bit of time before my train to Florence leaves. I'm very aware that you all have seen plenty of Italy and Paris this summer on your Instagram feeds so I won't sit here and pretend that my content is somehow revolutionary -- it's not. But what I do hope to do more of, especially in the days ahead as I travel alone, is to share the sense of wonder that we all desperately look for when traveling -- the good, the frightening, the majestic -- and if I can't seem to document it in a photo, well then I certainly hope a good story will suffice.
After all, we all love a good story, right? I know I do.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a train to catch. Arrivederci!
Truth be told: I didn't realize this would be such a requested topic.
Just a few weeks ago, after playing around with the newly launched Questions feature on Insta Stories, I noticed a common question popping up -- namely around how I prepared and eventually moved to New York City about three years ago from San Francisco. I suppose at the time of moving, I didn't exactly consider myself an expert on the subject by any stretch of the imagination -- heck, I was flying by the seat of my pants and praying that my stuff made it across the country seemingly in one piece, a friend who knew about Bradford real estate gave me some advice on how to move into New York because he had lived there before -- so it felt misguided of me to share my blueprints as the "be-all, end-all" plan.
But, I think after reflecting these past few years, I've realized how much that process was a long time in the making -- years really -- so I wanted to sit down and jot down my thoughts on the subject, in hopes it helps some of you, sitting wherever you're sitting in the world, make that New York dream a reality, too. I can remember how it was getting close to moving day and I was stressing out so much. I didn't know how I was going to transport all of my items in one go, especially as I only had a small car at the time. Luckily for me, a family friend offered to hire a van which they would use to help me take my possessions to my new home. This was amazing because I didn't think this would even be an option, but I'm so grateful this offer came through. He was telling me how it wasn't hard to get a van, the companies he looked into they have an online quotation system, made the process of obtaining the right insurance a lot easier. I look back on how everything was initially and I'm so happy with how everything has turned out.
First things first, though -- let's set some context.
For those of you who don't know already, I am not originally from New York or the east coast in general, and I have no family on this side of the country. I'm originally from Reno, Nevada -- 'Biggest Little City in the World' and it truly feels that way. Big enough to get lost, small enough where you know most people. And for as long as I can remember, I wanted to live in New York. I blame this on many books (Catcher in the Rye and The Great Gatsby to name a few), and several fictional TV/movie characters (Carrie, yes, I'm looking at you) and after a brief 5-year stint working in tech in San Francisco, I eventually made the cross-country leap, with the help of my company at the time. I should note, Google helped subsidize the costs of the move, covering most of the bigger expenses, like getting all my things from point A (SF) to point B (NYC), as it wouldn't be fair to not paint that full financial picture for you. But there was a lot I knew I had to be prepared to cover myself, upfront, and even more, so that I discovered perhaps the hard way.
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The bottom line is: Moving to New York is expensive. Living here is even more expensive. Here's how I did it and what I learned in the process.
It's true what they say -- it's NOT for everyone: Let's start here, shall we? Lots of people want to move to New York, not everyone wants to actually LIVE here. It's fast-paced, it's expensive, it's HOT in the summer, it's COLD in the winter, it's basically a city of extremes -- which means the pros (and don't get me wrong, there are MANY!) are sometimes equally met with the cons, depending on how you look at it. Before you start getting those proverbial ducks in a row to move to NYC, I would definitely recommend visiting the city multiple times, preferably at different times of the year to see if you can actually picture your life here. After many NYFW visits during February (read: when hell actually freezes over), and realizing that I still really wanted to live here, I knew I couldn't turn back.
The cost and logistics of moving: As I mentioned before, much of the actual move cost was subsidized by Google, my employer at the time, but that doesn't mean I splurged. I was given a set amount and I had to make it stretch. Moving is never easy for anyone, but it is not an impossible task. Whether someone needs to learn more about using a vehicle transport service, for example, find boxes big enough to fit essentials, go house hunting or even get the help of friends/family to assist them on the day, there's so much that goes into the moving process. When the time came to actually figure out what was coming with me across the country, I realized how much I actually needed to downsize. A lot of furniture was donated (bye, bye Ikea) and I even sold a bunch of clothes -- all in hopes to lighten the final load. Since I was taking only a handful of pieces of furniture (a bed, dresser, bar cart, a bike, and my closet), I ultimately went with a shipping container -- one that gets dropped off at your home/apartment, you pack it yourself, it gets picked up a few days later and is driven across the country via semi-trucks. The grand total was around several thousand, but it depends on what size container you order and how heavy the actual load comes out to be. I ordered Task Rabbit movers for packing up my SF apartment and again when it came time to unload and move into my NYC apartment.
Ditch your car: Perhaps this goes without saying, but you won't need it here and in fact, it'll cost you quite a bit just to keep it in the city, depending on which neighborhood you end up in. My two cents: sell it or donate it before you leave, unless you're ready to pony up for premium parking here in the city. I donated my car to Kars 4 Kids (a great end of year tax write off!).
Research your neighborhoods: Since I had a decent amount of visits to NYC under my belt, I had a relatively solid understanding of what neighborhoods I really LOVED hanging out in and which ones I could actually see myself living in. Perhaps it's the Carrie Bradshaw aficionado in me, but my heart was always in the West Village from the start. Of course, this came with some hard realizations: every neighborhood is expensive, some more so than others (like the West Village), and you really have to consider what type of lifestyle you're looking to balance. Do you want to be near the parks? Do you want great restaurants nearby? What about nightlife? What if you want more peace and quiet? How close are major subway lines? What does your commute to work look like? And then there's the HARD question of what can you actually afford? Should you consider roommates to help alleviate the cost? And as much as possible, try to chat with people who live in those neighborhoods -- see what they love about the area and what they hate. When I was moving, I talked a lot with coworkers and friends -- but if you're starting from scratch here, try reaching out on social media -- you'd be surprised how happy people are to share what they love (and what they hate!) about their neighborhood to help you out!
The apartment hunting process is not for the faint of heart: While researching your neighborhoods, it's also a good idea to get really comfortable with the following truth: it's not easy finding an apartment in New York City. Sure, there are those urban legends that someone magically lucked out with a rent-controlled, high-ceiling, pre-war beauty for a fraction of the normal going rental price, but the reality is, it's hard work and you rarely get everything you're looking for.
When I was searching for apartments, I was doing most of it from across the country while still working and living in SF, and therefore had to rely on a broker, who was basically my eyes and ears on the ground here in NYC. Let it suffice to say: he earned his commission! I planned one long weekend in NYC to look at a BUNCH of apartments back to back and had to ultimately decide on one soon after so I could keep my relocation on schedule. As much as I'd love to say it's realistic to take your time and house up in hotels and Air BnBs before deciding on an apartment, most of us don't have that budget or that time frame to work with -- things move fast here, especially semi-decent apartments, so you have to as well, or you'll be left in the lurch. My advice: make a list of your non-negotiables (mine were pet-friendly, off the ground floor, near subway lines) and make another list of things you're willing to budge on (storage space, aesthetic qualities) and be open-minded and realistic with yourself when searching. Oh, and that upper maximum rate you set for yourself -- STICK TO IT.
Some general rules of thumb to keep in mind when searching: there are a lot of units available in the summer, mainly because students are graduating and possibly relocating for the season but rental rates are typically lower in the winter, February being the BEST time to sign a lease. Pet-friendly buildings are harder to come by and they vary by neighborhood -- West Village, generally speaking, is pretty dog-friendly. A broker is 99% of the time inevitable, whether you like it or not and they typically charge around 15% of the yearly rent. StreetEasy will be your best resource for listings -- check it daily.
Get your financials in ORDER: OK, so you've found an apartment you LOVE (or at least, tolerate enough to throw thousands of dollars at each month), now what? First of all, you have to get your belongings in there using a company similar to https://www.dscarriers.co.uk/removals-glasgow/. Then, now it's time for your marathon. I don't know how to put this nicely, so I won't: the approval process is cut-throat here. Case in point: most building management companies and/or landlords require that you make 40 to 50 times the monthly rent in a year, and if you don't, they may require you to have a guarantor on file (i.e. someone who promises to pay if you default). To make matters more complicated, sometimes they'll require that the guarantor lives in the tri-state area, to make collecting easier. As someone whose parents live on the other side of the country, if I had to go that route, I'd be screwed (thankfully, I didn't).
So what goes into an application you ask? Several recent pay stubs, recent tax returns, bank statements, all liquid asset statements, employment letter, previous landlord references, personal references, a credit check and a handwritten note, signed in blood, promising your first unborn child. (I'm only sort of kidding on that last point.) Even after all that, there's still a possibility that you may not get approved, depending on the building and the area -- sometimes management agencies will cut deals and ask that you pay several month's rent upfront to guarantee. My advice would be to polish that application package -- and identify the areas where you need to beef things up. Pad that savings account (more on that in the next bullet point), and have most paperwork already printed and ready to go (I arrived at most apartment viewings with my application already prepared in manilla folders).
Since I was working full-time at Google when applying, my employment letter carried a bit more weight than perhaps what my self-employed application might look like now, so that's something to keep in mind as well.
SAVE: This point should probably be the first and most obvious one to underline and underscore: SAVE UP. After you've gotten past the initial sticker shock of rental prices, move prices and broker fees, there's the unavoidable truth: New York is just plain expensive. Dining out is expensive. Dining in is expensive. Having a social life of some sort is expensive. Heck, washing your dog is expensive here. On top of that, NYC alone has a ridiculous amount of taxes to deal with (federal, state and city) so you'll need to sit down and really review your current financial and employment situation before moving. Since I was coordinating my move at the same time as a possible career change (that being quitting my full-time gig and pursuing blogging full-time) I knew I wanted that savings account to be even fatter than usual. Full disclosure: it took me several years to get my savings to account to a place where I felt comfortable moving and eventually quitting -- the very last thing I wanted was to get there and realize I had nothing to fall back on if I needed it.
Of course, while everything above sounds like an incredible PAIN IN THE ASS, the morning I woke up after spending the first night in my West Village apartment, with nothing but an inflatable mattress on the ground and lots of boxes, I couldn't wipe the stupid grin off my face. And, despite my ups and downs with the city over the years, that smile has stayed ever since.
What about you guys? Do any of you live in NYC? What was your experience moving here like?
Perhaps I'm still playing catch up from our weird holiday week a while back, but the past few days have felt like a marathon. Waking up super early, going to bed super late and still feeling like I'm not getting through my to-do list each day. I'm heading out to Sag Harbor today with the Nicole Miller team, so I'm looking forward to kicking off an early summer Friday with some sunshine out east.
Also, since the weekend is nigh, just wanted to remind you all that I'll be speaking tomorrow at the Her Conference here in NYC, from 10 to 11am. Our panel discussion is all things related to Blogging 101: growing your reach and increasing your engagement. Plus, I have some RAD ladies joining me, all of whom I admire so much. If you happen to be in the city this weekend, I'd love to meet you! You can snag your weekend pass right this way and make sure to use the code "HERCONFCC" at checkout for $50 off!
As always, hope you have a wonderful weekend ahead, no matter what you have planned! And thanks for reading! In the meantime, here's a rundown of everything that's caught my eye this week:
Loved this honest and very candid post from Jess. It's also a great reality check that I think we all need from time to time, the more we consume on social.
So, in case you missed the army of influencers who posted their new Dior saddle bags yesterday, here's the rundown: Dior has officially relaunched their late 90s, early aughts iconic bag: the saddle bag. Carrie Bradshaw circa season 3 would be proud! But I'm curious, what are your thoughts? Do you prefer the vintage version still? Or it's updated and more expensive younger sister?
My boyfriend recently shared this video with me, and I'm now tempted to recreate it myself. Such a clever, tongue in cheek take on the "I'm so cool without really trying fashion video."
I recently got hooked on this -- and love how concise but comprehensive it is. Everything you need to know about what happened in the world that week, taking about 10 minutes or less to read.
I'm so happy that you guys loved my review of Rent the Runway's Unlimited service! As a follow up, I wanted to mention their team is happy to offer an additional 40% off to my readers for their first Unlimited order! Simply enter the code "KRYSTALPERK40" at checkout. Speaking of, here's what I'm currently waiting to arrive for my next order: this Solace London dress, this Amur dress and this Martin Grant dress.
As of this moment, I'm basking in a feeling I haven't yet experienced — I'm a college graduate! In case you didn't know, I, Nora, am (was?) a student at New York University for the past four years, studying media, culture, and communication and creative writing. I moved to New York for school and haven't looked back since, but, in that sense, I really haven't looked back since. This week has been a flurry of finals, events, and multiple (yes, multiple) graduation ceremonies, and I feel like I still haven't had a chance to catch my breath. I'm physically and emotionally exhausted, and I have no plans for this weekend other than to sleep for an entire day. Or maybe a couple of days.
Among all of the craziness that's gone on lately, and even as I write this, I haven't really been thinking about the past. I've been thinking about what to wear to Radio City Music Hall for graduation #1 (NYU really believes in casual graduation venues), I've been thinking about all the work I have to do for my last final (turned in on time on Tuesday! Woo!), I've been thinking about how I've been staying up way past my bedtime and waking up way before my alarm clock in order to get everything done that needs to get done. Even at the actual graduation ceremonies, I find myself thinking ahead to the next friend's name about to be read, or to the next meal I'll get to eat, or to how hot/rainy/chilly/windy it'll be once we get outside — the weather has been insane this week. It's been hard to really live in the moment, let alone the past.
But now, I finally have a minute to breathe, and to process everything that's happened to me not only in the past week but the past four amazing years at NYU and in New York. I've had so many incredible experiences in this city that were facilitated by my presence at NYU, and for that I'll be forever grateful. Heck, I wouldn't have met Krystal were it not for NYU housing me in Greenwich Village — I creepily DM'd her on Instagram about how we had all the same favorite spots until she had to be my friend, ha! I will miss my friends who are moving away to start the next part of their life. Some have been offered jobs already, someone is becoming a Cultural Care Au Pair so they can travel and earn some money and some have decided to continue with education in another place. At least I still have plenty of friends that are still near me.
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So, in no particular order, here are a few of my Friday favorites, college edition:
When my dear friend Cynthia waddled into my room before the first day of classes, swathed in a blanket, sat down on the ground, and said, "We have to go to class tomorrow…and I have to figure out the rest of my LIFE tomorrow!" I think you still have some time, Cynthia 🙂
THIS FEELING. (*starts singing The Schuyler Sisters*)
Study abroad in Paris! This was such a beautiful time — but it was also so hard adjusting to life in a different country, without many friends, not speaking the language, while life goes on without you at home. More on that another time, though!
Seeing time change — our favorite corner in 2016 on the Fourth of July and 2018, on graduation day
There are so many more moments, but I'll spare you for now. Just a reminder to anyone going through anything at the moment: don't be afraid to look back. Make time for it. It matters. But also, always keep looking forward — there will be better things on the horizon.
I landed late last night but I can already tell, from running along the Regents Canal this morning, that this is going to be an amazing trip. I haven't been back to London since 2014 actually and while that trip was very much about fitting in all the tourist-y things one could fit, I'm really looking forward to striking the right local balance this time around -- hitting up all the spots that my good friend Heather (and now Londoner) has been meaning to try on her list. The brief I gave her was essentially, "Let's pretend each day I'm here is a Saturday and we'll plan accordingly."
So far, so good. We squeezed in a 3 mile run this morning before stopping off at the top of Primrose Hill for a beautiful view of the city, London Eye and all, and we'll be shopping around today (yours truly is itching for a Burberry trench coat). We have trivia night lined up tonight at a local pub, the V&A later this week, parties to hit up on Saturday for Meghan and Harry's big day and we even managed to snag tickets to Harry Potter and the Cursed Child for Sunday (SOMEBODY PINCH ME!!!).
If you have any London recommendations, please send them my way! I always love hearing your city tips! And don't forget to follow along on Insta Stories. On that note, we're heading out soon to enjoy the sunny weather today. Hope you're all having a great week so far and thanks so much for reading!
Today's post is a literal downer. And hopefully, an upper too.
All in the legal, law-abiding sense, of course. This is a style and travel site after all -- no drug peddling here.
So, what if I were to tell you, not everyone on the internet is happy all the time? What if I were to also tell you everyone smiling, laughing and taking ferris wheel pictures at Coachella wasn't feeling 100% their best selves in every shot? And what if I were to tell you, that's completely fine?
I'd be lying if I didn't feel like somewhat of a fraud here -- after all, I'm in the business of taking my photograph every day, to showcase an outfit, a favorite spot in New York that makes me smile and, in essence, my life. And generally, speaking it's mainly the positive parts of my life that I share -- partially because it brings me joy to share them, and partially because it's easier to share a public victory than a defeat.
Where am I going with all of this? I'm generally a pretty positive person and up until the end of my 20s and now early 30s, I still struggle with the fact I beat myself up quite a bit for not feeling this way ALL THE TIME. After experiencing a few personal set backs recently, namely a reoccurrence of hormonal acne triggered by one fateful Plan B pill, I've decided I have to be kinder to myself, as simple and yet as hard as it sounds. Honestly, I think it's something most people struggle with -- we extend the least amount of grace to ourselves.
Here's what I've done lately to be kinder to myself, in hopes it helps you guys, too.
Show yourself some compassion: Think of the things you would tell a friend if they were feeling down about something. Think of how you would empathize with and comfort them. What would you say to them? What would you do for them? Now, try telling yourself these same things. Remind yourself that it's OK to feel this way, that it's natural to feel this way and to ALLOW yourself to feel this way.[/half][/row]
2. Perspective. Finding perspective is tricky, isn't it? If anything, sometimes when you get too much of it, you end up feeling worse, right? Suddenly, all my first world problems seem trivial when you put them in context of the world's problems. But the point isn't to undermine how you're feeling -- it's to help you realize that like most things, what you're experiencing, will pass. And if it passes with an outcome that's not what you were hoping for, there's a path from there, too.
3. Wallow, but don't dwell: Sometimes, when you're feeling down, whether you're frustrated or sad or feeling stuck, while getting to the root of the problem and subsequent solution is extremely important, it's just as monumental to allow yourself TO FEEL it. Maybe that's tears. Maybe that's talking about it with a good friend. Maybe that's indulging in sad movies. Whatever it is that helps you release, then allow yourself to release. Think of this frustration you're feeling as a limited resource that will eventually be tapped. Allow yourself a certain amount of time to do so and keep moving.
4. Volunteer. I've said this before and I'll say it again, sometimes the best and ONLY way to forget your problems, is to focus on helping someone else with theirs. Distraction in it's purest form.
5. Exercise. Whether that's a fun class you love taking, a long run or just taking the long route home, I find I'm much kinder to myself after I've exhausted my body a bit. It's a great release.
6. Plan a week of healthy meals. This is a relatively new step for me, as I typically plan my dinner an hour or so before. But there's something to be said about knowing I have a week's worth of healthy meals in the fridge that take the guesswork out of my evening. I feel much more satiated and satisfied, without the guilt of dining out.
7. Pick an indulgent thing that makes you happy -- go out and do it! For me, I love trying on expensive things that I know I'll never buy -- just to see what they look like on. It's silly and indulgent and it makes me smile.
How about you guys? How are you showing yourself more kindness?
6minute read Kevin Costner once told us if you build it, they will come. Well, I like to think, if we dress for spring, it has to come. Eventually. Right?
